Darcy Lewis, Goddess of Wisdom
by wanderingmusician
Summary: Thor and Loki have come to believe that Darcy is the wisest of mortals. Really she just quotes songs, but they don't have to know that.
1. Here and Now

I was talking to a friend and came up with this: "I want a story where Thor (and maybe Loki) is really impressed with Darcy and thinks she's really wise and gives all this great advice but really she's just quoting songs."

And so it begins. I won't be telling you the song or artist she's quoting, though. Try and guess!

(btw I don't own anything)

* * *

Thor and Loki were bickering. Again. Darcy had heard their arguments enough to know the pattern. They started with a new grievance – someone didn't put the cereal away, or another equally stupid complaint – and progressed backwards through their history until they reached stories of their toddler years.

The fight had progressed very far yet. Thor was going on about wearing a wedding dress, Mjolnir, and Loki being a woman. Darcy was pretty sure this had happened within the past two centuries. If she didn't intervene now, the two men could keep arguing for hours.

"Boys," she said sweetly. "I'm sure you were both very pretty ladies."

This managed to grab their attention. Thor sputtered unintelligibly at her, obviously not expecting a third party to enter the fray.

"But all that counts is here and now." With that Darcy turned sharply and left the room without a backwards glance.

If she _had_ bothered to look back, she would have seen both gods stare thoughtfully at each other before reaching an apparent truce and heading their separate ways.


	2. All You'll Be

Just a (late) warning that this story is a series of mostly unrelated drabbles under an over-arching theme.

* * *

It was funny that this was how it was ending. There was a good argument for somewhat-circular time somewhere in this mess. History repeats itself and all.

The story, well not THE story - that started in WWII - but this story, started with Darcy Lewis using her taser on an alien god.

And it looked like it was about to end in the same way. Darcy wondered if it was truly ending or if she would start another tale with her actions. She wondered if this would mean the end of Darcy Lewis, too.

When the political science major had taken the internship with Jane Foster she never entertained the thought that she might end up meeting and assaulting the God of Thunder.

When SHIELD became involved the brunette had no idea they would hire her as an agent after she completed her degree.

When she became a certified agent, she would have never guessed that she would discover an incredible suitability for the job, rocket through the ranks, and end up working with the Avengers and Loki.

At that point it had been inevitable she would eventually end up here, with the rest of the team, fighting the mad titan Thanos.

As she stood on unsteady legs and aimed her weapon at the injured titan, her mind brought up the memory of this particular weapon's creation.

Tony had thought the story of Thor's arrival on earth was hilarious. Darcy, he insisted, needed a new taser. One that was capable of taking down Asgardians who were at full power. It was only fitting, he said.

Once it was finished, he proclaimed that it must be tested. In the process of "testing" the taser had been hit by a blast from Mjolnir. Instead of completely frying it, the hammer endowed the small weapon with super-powers.

Praying that her taser would work as well on the insane creature before her as it did on HYDRA-soldiers, rogue mutants, and the products of mad scientists, Darcy spoke to the titan who had wished for omnipotence and the attentions of Mistress Death.

"All you'll ever be is the fading memory of a bully."

Snarling in rage, Thanos lunged at her, grievous wounds forcing him to fall short of his target. Pulling the trigger, Darcy watched with satisfaction as Thanos fell backwards, his heart stopped from her attack.

Slowly, the battle around her drew to a close. Thor and Loki were the first to approach her. The blonde clapped her on the back.

"Even in battle you speak wisdom, Lady Darcy. Let us insure that your words will be true." Thor stepped away to view the body of their enemy as Tony sidled up to Darcy.

"They may even sing songs of your great triumph," he told her, winking has he lifted the faceplate on his suit. As the rest of the team gathered to count injuries Tony strode towards Thor, humming.


	3. No Regrets

This one's a little different, but it fits with where I eventually want to take this.

Yes, the first chapter's song was Glad You Came by the Wanted. Congratulations to Every Fandom's Little Bitch for guessing correctly.

Second chapter was Bully, by Shinedown. Congrats to linoayn for this one.

* * *

SHIELD thrived on gossip. Spying, after all, is essentially gossip on an international scale. The halls of SHIELD were frequently abuzz with the latest news. No one was spared. If the Avengers weren't up to something _(Captain America went out for coffee with who?!)_ then someone else was _(Sarah, the girl from HR, has nude photos of Matt from R&amp;D on her computer!)_

The lifespan for any single tidbit of gossip was mercifully short. Two, maybe three days at most.

Jane generally didn't pay attention to the rumor mill. The newest research on quarks and advances in string theory were much more interesting than whatever Eric from accounting d in his free time _(which was disgusting and she wished she'd never heard that.)_ But when she'd been hearing Darcy's name being tossed around in the break room for a week, even Jane had to take notice.

When Tony came into her lab to discuss one of their joint projects, she brought it up. Tony Stark always knew what everyone on the team was up to _(Clint suspected the engineer had drones following all of them.)_

"Darcy?" Tony paused for a second. "Oh they're all excited about who she's been sleeping with."

Jane narrowed her eyes. He was trying to hide something. Darcy's sex life couldn't be the topic of the week – it was 2 day gossip at most. "Oh? And who's that?" The astrophysicist's tone was pleasant with a hint of _tell me the truth or I will be having words with Pepper._

"Loki." Tony watched Jane carefully, ready to run for cover if she lost her temper. Or reached for her phone to call his darling, lovely, and absolutely terrifying girlfriend.

Instead, Jane quietly looked at her watch _(10 A.M., Darcy would be in the break room getting coffee) _and walked out of the lab.

A group of secretaries were in the room with Darcy when Jane walked through the doorway. One of them _(Melonie, known for creating gossip when there was none,)_ was talking to Darcy.

"Sleeping with him, Darcy? That's practically sleeping with the enemy." The snide tone of her voice was echoed in the expressions of the two women behind her.

A quick look at Darcy's face and Jane knew her friend was pissed off.

"Yeah, I had sex with Loki. A lot. It was great. And I love him." Darcy had made her way to the door as she spoke. Standing in the door way, she turned and faced the secretaries. "And you know what ladies? No regrets."


	4. Too long

Not Darcy this time, sorry! Someone else makes a cameo. (Don't worry, this won't happen often)

* * *

The 21st century wasn't what he thought it would be. As a child growing up he'd thought that eventually all the discrimination he saw around him would stop. He believed in humanity, that people had an inherent goodness. That given enough time, everyone could see what he saw. That color, gender, and sexuality made no difference, didn't make any one less _human._

Damn near a hundred years had passed since he disappeared from the Earth, hidden deep beneath the cold ocean. Sure, things had changed. Things had changed a lot. But even for all their fantastic advances in technology and science, people still couldn't treat each other with respect. As the equals Steve knew they were.

The Avengers made a trip to Asgard, once, when Thor and Jane married there. They had made the trip into a vacation. Steve spent much of his time wandering the city, observing the Asgardians and their culture. What he saw was beautiful. People there weren't so different from humans, really. But not once did he see an Asgardian belittled, harassed, because of who they were.

Steve thought about these things a lot. He wondered if it was his responsibility to stand up and say something. Surely people would listen to Captain America? But he'd always been shy of acting publicly. Even after his days on tour during the war, Steve still hated being in the spotlight.

When the team was fighting a scientist gone mad in the middle of Brooklyn he had his chance to speak out. This section of town had changed so much since the depression, but he still recognized it. There had been a speakeasy on the corner. Steve remembered being there with Bucky, once. They had seen a woman come out of the backroom, crying, dress torn, and limping. Shortly after her a man came out – easily recognizable as the owner of the building. Steve had looked at Bucky, asked if they should call the police, report what had obviously been an assault. Bucky had looked at him and said the police wouldn't do anything. They both made sure the lady got in a cab to take her home. Together they scraped up enough change to pay her fare.

Darcy was standing exactly where that lady had when the mad scientist threatened her. Told her that after killing the rest of her team maybe he'd keep her around. Said that he'd use her the way her team obviously did – as a fuck toy.

Steve saw red. In that moment the bad guy turned into more than just a scientist who'd had an accident with gamma radiation. He was the owner of the speakeasy. He was everyone who'd called Gabe a filthy nigger. He was rapist Steve had seen walk away from court unscathed.

Shield held at the man's throat, Captain America snarled. "When God looks down on us, I wonder what he sees." Steve had the man pinned against the concrete sidewalk and looked murderous. Cautiously, the rest of the team gathered around him.

"Steve. Come one buddy, let's keep him alive for Fury to question." Clint cautiously approached the man he had found himself becoming friends with. He had never seen Steve so livid. He had never thought Steve _could_ get so angry.

With one last shove for emphasis the blonde man let go of the villain. "This has been going on too long."

Stalking off while Natasha cuffed beaten man, Steve found Thor by his side. "You speak the truth, my friend," the thunder god told him. "But now what will you do about it?"

"Everything I can."


	5. Fugitive

Chapter 3 was Express - Christina Aguilera. Chapter 4 was Him - Lily Allen. (Still not sure what I think about that one? This started out as HUMOR!)

This one might be kind of obscure, but I'd love it if y'all could guess which songs I'm using! And if anyone wants to suggest songs/lyrics/scenarios I'll do my best to write it.

* * *

Darcy knew that she was a target to the bad guys of the world because of her relationship with the Avengers. And the Avengers – especially Loki – were hyper-aware of it as well. When she refused to have a security team follow her everywhere, every member of the team had offered her weapons, training, or both. She had taken Tony up on his offer of a custom-made stun gun and both training and what was slowly turning into an armory's worth of weapons from Natasha. After a brief argument when Loki insisted she still needed more protection, she conceded that sending his copies out to follow her on every errand was an acceptable alternative to bodyguards.

So when someone pulled her into the space between two buildings – not even big enough to be an alley – after a trip to the pharmacy Darcy wasn't worried. She had her stun gun pulled out in milliseconds and aimed straight at the man's chest.

He was tall, and looked like he had been living on the streets for a long time. Darcy wasn't sure if the smell permeating the narrow space came from the garbage cans sitting next to a side door or from her would-be kidnapper. Seeing his metal arm, she discretely made a signal behind her back telling the Loki-copy hovering a ways behind her, nearly invisible, to wait and stay hidden.

"Bucky Barnes?" Darcy tried to keep her posture non-threatening while still keeping her gun raised. Steve had told the team about his friend and what HYDRA had done. Everyone had read the files Natasha managed to steal from HYDRA on the Winter Soldier. The team had been trying to track him down without success since the fall of SHIELD five months ago.

"Maybe?" He looked completely lost. Darcy thought he probably hadn't planned on succeeding in pulling her off the street – maybe never even planned to make contact. What they knew of his recent actions indicated that his behavior was becoming more erratic. Bruce hypothesized that it was because of his past memories pushing through his mental conditioning and, in Tony's words, "mucking about with his brain even more."

"Yes. You're James "Bucky" Barnes. Your best friend, Steve, he's been trying to find you." Slowly she lowered her gun and holstered it.

Bucky stood silently for a moment, staring at the ground. "The man with the shield." His eyes met hers and she noded. Darcy thought he looked as lost as Loki had been when she first met him.

"Bucky, you don't have to live as a fugitive." Carefully, Darcy reached her hand out to him.

He stared at her hand. Finally, he reached out and gently put his flesh and blood hand in hers. "Show me the right way to go?"

"Don't worry," Darcy smiled with a quick glance at the real Loki she could see hiding at the entrance to the dim corridor. "I have experience with that."


	6. Too Low

I wrote this at 1am and am uploading at 1:30am let me know if anything is crazy. I couldn't let this go an entire year without updating. I've got another one chapter partially written too. Last chapter was Spies by Coldplay. I may work in the fall of SHIELD. A previous chapter mentions that Darcy was an agent, but in this one she's working for the Avengers. Timeline goes - TTDW - Darcy starts training, becomes an agent - SHIELD falls, she follows Jane to the Avengers - her talent for social media starts being used for Avengers PR.

* * *

Sometimes it seemed like the world forgot that Tony Stark was Iron Man. Everyone remembered Iron Man coming out of the desert, but no one remembered Tony Stark going in. Today's headlines were an unwelcome reminder of that.

The annual Avenger's Charity Ball had been Friday night. Saturday's papers were filled with articles criticizing the theme colors – red and gold – and that Tony had worn the Iron Man suit for the first dance, with Pepper clad in metallic red. Reporters called it a blatant display of narcissism. They speculated on Tony's ego tearing the team apart. Iron Man, they said, had gone overboard. The Daily Mail and other papers questioned when Tony Stark had earned the right to "throw a celebration of himself."

When the Avengers PR team had been called on for comment, Darcy had volunteered to face the press. She didn't trust her baby interns with this. They were good at uploading a steady stream of cute Avengers photos to social media, not dealing with the bloodthirsty media. Pepper probably wanted to deal with this herself, but Darcy had kept it from coming to the CEO's attention all morning, trying to give the woman at least a short respite from the stress of running Stark Industries and dealing with the team of superheroes.

Now she faced the reporters huddled outside of the tower. Briefly, Darcy wondered if the charity event had been scheduled for January in hopes that the weather would discourage paparazzi from lingering outside it. She was snapped out of her thoughts when a reporter asked "when did Stark earn the right to place himself on such a pedestal?"

Darcy considered asking the reporter if he would say the same thing about Steve, but decided that would only stir up more rumors that the team was falling apart.

"You never know the top til you get too low," she said, pausing before her next statement. "We all know that Iron Man came out of the desert. The suit wasn't created by an engineer working in a comfortable lab. Iron Man came out of the desert, but Tony Stark went in."


End file.
